every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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