I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

feminism

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Asians.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

homosexuals are gay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops