How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops