Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

A terrorist robs a walrus.

How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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