Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

Thats what she said

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

why is pie good. because it just is.

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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