Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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