A seal walks into a club.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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have safe sex

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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YOLO

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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what's white and sticky semen

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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