Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Your Mom

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because Martin Handford drew him that way to make him unique and distinguishablefrom the hundreds of other drawn people (and animals) in the pages of the children's game book, which incidentally is known as Where's Wally in numerous non-USA countries.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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Xzibit

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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