How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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Xzibit

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because Martin Handford drew him that way to make him unique and distinguishablefrom the hundreds of other drawn people (and animals) in the pages of the children's game book, which incidentally is known as Where's Wally in numerous non-USA countries.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops