Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops