Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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