Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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wanna here a good joke? me too.

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the game

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops