What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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