Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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woman's lacrosse

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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