What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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How many Ethiopian's can you fit in a bathtub? As many as you want, they'd all fall down the drain. JimBoto

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Sex

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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Microwave

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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Asians

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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