roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

A Jewish man walks by a penny.

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

What do black people eat? Food.

What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...