What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Your mom is so nice.

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Please? No.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

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if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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