How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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CRY

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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