Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops