What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Neither have I

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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