How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops