What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops