Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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