Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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this is not a joke.

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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