Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

minorities

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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