Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

thumb_up thumb_down +30

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops