There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops