A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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