A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

Yanter, Look it up

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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