Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

Women's rights.

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

Why can't jokes spit?

why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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