You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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