Q: What's the difference between Osama's death and Paris Hilton's bra? A: One is Osama's death and the other is Paris Hilton's bra.

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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