Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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know whats funnier than 24? 25.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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