A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops