What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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feminine literature

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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