Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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Women's Rights

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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