How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Religion

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Women's Rights

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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