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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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