How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

Massie is a fatass

Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

What's worse than being arrested? Being arrested twice

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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