Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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Basically

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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