Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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