Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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This sentence is a lie.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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this is not a joke.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops