A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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Why was a woman crying in a corner of a room She was raped

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

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we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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What did Osama bin Laden say when he heard loud gunshots outside his millitary compound? A: We'll never find out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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