What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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