Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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