Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

Two planes walk into an office building

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

What do you call a banana? A banana.

roses are red and violets are in fact violet

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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