What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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