Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops