Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the mentally challenged kid get on his test? Drool

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

LOL we are spamming this site too much!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops