What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats purple and brown lucozade sport

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how many neggers does it take to screw in a light bul.... Nvm, Neggers be too busy screwing ur wife, plus they're lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Dear crush, I want to drink you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +22

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops