What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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