How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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lol

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A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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