- Anti Joke

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

YES! EXACTLY!

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

Y

How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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