Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tilt your screen back

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops