What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tilt your screen back

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops